Transformer Babies
by crazomatic
Summary: Chapter 4 is here! Meggy teams up with Unicron in his latest attempt to destroy Oppie Prime. This is a Transformer Parody of "Muppet Babies"
1. Default Chapter

Okay a few notes: This is meant to be funny, silly and illogical. Stupid? sure, why not, life if to short to take anything seriously. Have fun reading.  
  
To the owners: I don't own Transformers, nor will I ever. Suing me is completely futile and a waste of profit by paying a high priced attorney to track me down. So, enjoy!  
  
Transformer Babies:  
  
The G1 babies are in the nursery. All looks quiet and peaceful. Rachet, Wheeljack, Jazz and Hound are playing Uno together, while Soundwave, Thundercracker, and Starscream are jumping rope. Unfortunately, Megatron thought Starscream was jumping for two long and kicked him in the butt to jump himself. Starscream started bawling, then ran over to baby Bumblebee and asked if he could play with him. Bumblebee laughed at him and Starscream continued to cry. The extreme noise caused by the crying attracted the attention of Nanny, who came in to find out what the babies were doing:  
  
All: Hi Nanny!  
  
Nanny: Hi kids! Did you all sleep well last night?  
  
Megs: I did Nanny, but somebody stole my favorite teddy bear AGAIN last night.  
  
Nanny: Oh! I'm so sorry Meggy. Now kids, stealing isn't right! Who took Meggy's teddy bear?  
  
(They all look at each other).  
  
Rachet: I didn't take it Nanny!  
  
Starscream: (Drying his optics) Mean either Nanny!  
  
Nanny: (Nanny scans the room at all the cute faces looking affectionately up at her). Hmmm.something's not right. Where's Oppie?  
  
Hound: He's probably hiding in the toy chest again, Nanny. (Nanny walks over to the toy chest and sees a little red ball curled up cuddling a teddy bear).  
  
Nanny: Oppie. Wake up. (He does). Oppie, did you take Meggy's favorite teddy bear?  
  
(Oppie shakes his head in the 'No' fashion).  
  
Megs: MY TEDDY BEAR! GIVE IT BACK! (He snatches it away). I shall destroy you, leaving your burning carcass to float around the galaxy for this!  
  
Nanny: Meggy! You need to learn how to be nice, even when your friends aren't always nice to you. Now what is going to happen when you're all grown up and start talking like that?  
  
Megs: I don't know Nanny. . . Maybe they would shiver in fear and think that I'm really cool?  
  
Nanny: I doubt that Megs, I think people would believe you were a mean bully and you wouldn't have any friends.  
  
Starscream: What do you mean about when he's all grown up? He doesn't have any friends right now! He just kicked me in my butt when I was jumping rope. (Megs eyes glare at Starscream).  
  
Megs: I have friends! I have LOTS of friends, huh Soundwave?  
  
Soundwave: Yes, Mighty Meggy.  
  
Megs: See! The only people who don't have friends are the ones who rat on their playmates, you worthless piece of garbage! (Starscream begins to well up with tears again).  
  
Nanny: Meggy! That's bad manners! I know I never taught you how to talk like that! Say you're sorry immediately to Starscream and then apologize to me and all your other playmates for using filthy language!  
  
Megs: I'm sorry to all my playmates, except to that worthless piece of garbage. (Starscream begins to wail, and the whole gang covers their ears as his glass shattering vocal modulator seems to exceed the loudest sounds on Earth).  
  
Nanny: What am I ever going to do with you Megs! I think you need a time out, and you can't return until you have sincerely apologized for being so horrible today!  
  
(The others beg Meggy to say he's sorry, as both he and they are crippled by the high pitched crying coming out of Starscream's mouth).  
  
Megs: (holding his ears) OKAY OKAY!!! I AM SORRY FOR CALLING STARCREAM A MEAN NAME! (looking at Starscream) NOW WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP! (He does).  
  
Nanny: I think maybe you are upset because you didn't have your teddy bear today. I am sure that Oppie is very sorry for taking your teddy bear. Oppie, will you come over here and tell Meggy that you're sorry?" (Oppie shivers in fear and hops back into the toy chest, slamming the lid).  
  
Megs: Muhahahahah!! You see! It works!  
  
Nanny: Hmmm, kids these days! Well, let's play a game. How about follow the leader?  
  
All: Yeah!!!!  
  
Starscream: Can I be the leader, Nanny?  
  
Nanny: Not this time Screamy, I have an idea.  
  
Starscream: Darn, I never get to be the leader!  
  
Megs: That's because you haven't got any talent, dummy.  
  
Starscream: Some day I will be the leader, you'll see.  
  
Megs: Maybe only for a few seconds. Then when everybody sees how retarded you are, I'll dive in and kill you.  
  
Starscream: Shut up!  
  
Nanny: Enough both of you! I think the reason we should let Oppie be the leader is so that he will come out of the toy chest.  
  
Wheeljack: AH MAN! You're always picking him to lead us! How come he's always the leader?  
  
Rachet: Yeah! He's boring and just stands in the corner all day!  
  
(Murmuring breaks about among the playmates, as they all seem to agree that they don't want Oppie to lead).  
  
Nanny: We should let Oppie be the leader because he's so shy. I think it will help him build self-confidence.  
  
Starscream: "What's self-confidence, Nanny?"  
  
Nanny: Self-confidence is the way you see yourself. At times, it can help you overcome obstacles that stand in your way. It is really good to have self-confidence when you're older.  
  
Rachet: When I get older, I'm going to be a doctor.  
  
Nanny: That's great Rachet! Helping others is a great way to build self- confidence in others as well as yourself.  
  
Starscream: I'm never going to get old!  
  
Megs: Yes you will, you stupid fool!  
  
Nanny: MEGGY! How many times do I have to tell you to stop being mean?  
  
Megs: But Nanny, he's so stupid!  
  
Nanny: No more talking like that Meggy! (she picks him up and puts him in a crib) You just sit in your crib and think about what you just said.  
  
Megs: But Nanny! I did a good thing, see? I told the truth!  
  
Starscream: Shut up!  
  
Soundwave: I think Starscream is stupid too! (Knowing he's going to get punished by Nanny, he jumps into the same crib as Megs).  
  
Starscream: OKAY FINE! Maybe I will get older! But when I do, I'm going to be a scientist!  
  
Nanny: That's good to hear Screamy! Sounds like you're on the right path to getting some good, healthy, self-confidence.  
  
Jazz: Yeah, all for except poor Oppie.  
  
Nanny: That's right Jazz. That's why it's important for us to help him find some.  
  
Megs: He'll never get any! He'll just be a dumb, stupid mute like he is today!  
  
Nanny: We mustn't tease Oppie just because he doesn't talk as much as we would like him too. That does not mean he's stupid, it means he's special.  
  
Bumblebee: Yeah, special like in a Special Ed way!  
  
Wheeljack: Yeah, he's weird. He plays with that blue glowing ball thingy he keeps in his chest, calling it his "precious."  
  
Megs: He's a WAY bigger nerd than Starscream!  
  
Starscream: Shut up!  
  
Nanny: No, no, no, you misunderstand! I don't mean Special Ed, Bumblebee! I mean he's gentle. He's sensitive. He's a thinker, and he's probably going to be somebody great someday. That's what I mean by special.  
  
Megs: I'm special too, Nanny! When I grow up I'm going to be a famous leader and conquer the universe!  
  
Nanny: Sounds to me like you've got a little too much self-confidence!  
  
Megs: I will! I will! You'll see! You will all be my slaves and I'll be able to go anywhere I want and not be stuck in a crib all day!  
  
Nanny: That's enough Meggy! Your behavior has been very bad today. I'm going to keep you in that crib all day unless you show me how you are going to talk nice to your playmate Starscream and Oppie. Soundwave, come out of that crib. (Soundwave looks at Megs, then back at Nanny, then back at Megs).  
  
Soundwave: Sorry Mighty Meggy, but she's bigger than me.  
  
Megs: That's alright Soundwave, I like your obedience to authority figures. Someday I can use that when I conquer the universe, then kill Oppie, and Starscream.  
  
Soundwave: Cool! I'm so there!  
  
Nanny: Alright kids, maybe we should just go to the playground!  
  
All: Yeah! (They start to run for the door. Megs is horrified).  
  
Megs: Can't I go too, Nanny? The thought of me not being there among my comrades guiding them to conquest on the jungle gym is too much for me to bear!  
  
Nanny: You have been awfully cranky today. (She stops and thinks to herself: "Conquest? Comrades?") I think it would be best if you cooled down with a nap this time Meggy.  
  
Megs: But it's Oppie's fault! You said so yourself! You said it was because Oppie stole my favorite teddy bear that caused me to be cranky! Soundwave, play back that last transmission! (Soundwave walks over to Nanny and plays back, "I think you might be cranky because you didn't have your teddy bear.")  
  
Nanny: I can't believe you were taping this conversation, Soundwave! Well, maybe I did say that, but that's still no excuse for your actions today.  
  
Megs: But he is the one who should be sitting in here and not me! He STOLE MY TEDDY BEAR! He even stole it the night before and the night before that! Why am I getting punished? You treat him like he's some kind of angel, well he's not! He's a thief and should be executed at once!  
  
Ironhide: Awwww, be quiet Megs! You're just mad because your stuck in the crib and not the leader! (They all start to run outside to play).  
  
Megs: No I'm not! I'll get my revenge upon you all! Especially Oppie!  
  
Nanny: Revenge isn't right either! Now sit there and think about what you've done.  
  
Megs: I'm warning you! You could cause serious psychological damage to my fragile mind by doing this!  
  
Nanny: You have acted anything but fragile today. I'll be back in thirty minutes. (She starts to leave).  
  
Megs: No! Wait Nanny!  
  
Nanny: What is it this time, Meggy?  
  
Megs: Will you please, ummmmm, change my diaper before you go?  
  
The End of part one-  
  
Part two-sometime later that week:  
  
The Transformer babies are playing happily together on the playground; with the exception of Oppie, whose making a sandcastle by himself. Many of the babies are playing Dodge-ball. The game is getting very intense, as one by one they are getting picked off by the ball tagging them out. The only two left one either side of the court are Megs and Starscream.  
  
Megs: So, the game comes down to just the both of us, does it? You shall surely feel the wrath of Meggy!"  
  
Starscream: You can't defeat me in battle that easily Meggy! Do your worst!  
  
(Jazz looks at Ultra Mags from the side of the court) What's their problem, man? I mean sheesh, it's just a game. You'd think they were in some kind of war.  
  
Ultra Mags: Yeah, they take this stuff way too seriously.  
  
(Megs throws the ball as hard as he can toward Starscream, who barely manages to dodge it, but instead smacks Oppie's sandcastle and destroys it).  
  
Oppie: Duoh!  
  
(Jazz and Ultra Mags run over to Oppie, whose expression looks like his heart has been crushed into a thousand pieces )  
  
Megs: "Muhahahahah! That was so funny! Hey sandcastle nerd! Why don't you throw that ball back over here?"  
  
Ultra Mags: Hey, why don't you say you're sorry for destroying Oppie's sandcastle?!  
  
Megs: I don't have to say anything because I didn't do it on purpose! Besides, it was a stupid castle, anyway.  
  
(Seeing the tears well up in Oppie's optics, Jazz pats him on the back) Don't worry, you can make another one, and your not a complete nerd, your just a little bit of a nerd, that's all.  
  
Ultra Mags: JAZZ!  
  
Jazz: Duoh!  
  
Megs: I'm still waiting!  
  
(Tears begin to fall)  
  
Ultra Mags: Don't cry, be a big Bot like us and be tuff!  
  
Megs: HELLO! Can I get my ball back now!  
  
Oppie dries his optics and picks up the ball lying in the sand. Instead of throwing it back, Oppie walks towards Megs with the ball in his hand.  
  
Megs: (sarcastically) What? You want to play? Is that what you want? (Oppie nods his head in the 'yes' fashion) Fine! Starscream, get out of the way, the champion of nerds wants to challenge me.  
  
Starscream: What! We haven't even finished our game yet and it's MY TURN!  
  
Megs: Oh please! I whip your ass every time we play, so what makes you think you can defeat me today? But NERD here thinks he's got something to prove, so MOVE!"  
  
(A crowd begins to grow. Never before have they witnessed Oppie make an aggressive move. Oppie takes Starscream's side of the court as he moves into the crowd to watch).  
  
Megs: Well! Do something! You DO know how to play don't you? (Jazz and Ultra Mags look at each other and shrug. They can't remember a time when they saw Oppie play a contact game).  
  
(Oppie throws the ball at Meggy with such incredible force that it sends him flying backwards into the pavement, where he skids to a stop).  
  
All: WHOW!  
  
Starscream: AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!  
  
Soundwave: "Mighty Meggy!"  
  
(Oppie walks back over to the sandlot)  
  
(The babies are stunned. Some are mixed with happiness that Megs got his just desserts for being such a bigmouth, but others become frightened, as they had never witness such power come out of a baby before. The whistle blows and the crowd runs back into the nursery. Soundwave helps Megs sit up from the payment).  
  
Starscream: "You never saw that one coming did you Meggy? Pathetic! (He kicks him and skips away, laughing hysterically all the way back to the nursery).  
  
(Back at the nursery, the babies quietly murmur amongst themselves about the events that took place at the playground. Nanny senses there's tension in the room.)  
  
Nanny: Hi kids! Did you have a good time at the playground?  
  
Starscream: I did Nanny! I had a REALLY GOOD TIME!  
  
Nanny: That's good Screamy, tell me about what you did?  
  
Starscream: Today I played Dodge-Ball and watched Meggy's ass get WHOOPED by Oppie.  
  
Megs: Shut up, I did not! (his metal did look very dirty)  
  
Soundwave: That was pretty funny!  
  
Megs: YOU TOO Soundwave? You would betray me by siding with that insolent piece of garbage?  
  
Soundwave: Well, you did get your ass whooped!  
  
Meg: I DID NOT GET MY ASS WHOOPED!  
  
Starscream: Yes you did.  
  
Megs: I DID NOT!  
  
Soundwave: Yes you did.  
  
Megs: DID NOT!  
  
Starscream: DID!  
  
Megs: DID NOT DID NOT DID NOT!!!!!!  
  
Nanny: Alright stop it! It doesn't matter who won or who lost. All that matters is that you had fun!  
  
Starscream: I had fun watching Meggy get his ass whooped.  
  
Megs: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!! (Megs reaches out and starts to strangle Starscream. Nanny reaches for Megs and puts him in a crib)  
  
Nanny: Just calm down Meggy! (Megs is breathing heavily) It's not okay to put your hands on one of your playmates. Starscream and Soundwave, come over here right now and say your sorry to Meggy for teasing him.(They both walk over and say in unison, 'sorry Meggy').  
  
Megs: (looking obviously infuriated) THIS ISN'T OVER! (Nanny gives him a cross look) I mean, . . .uh . . No problem, friends!  
  
Nanny: Good! Well, now that we are all friends again, we can play a game called . . (she stops) Where's Oppie?  
  
(Everybody in the playroom rooms around)  
  
Ultra Mags: In the toy chest again? (they all run over to the toy chest, with the exception of Starscream and Soundwave, who could give a flying leap where he is. They open the lid and find it empty).  
  
Nanny: Oh No! He isn't there!  
  
Hot Roddy: Maybe he's in the bathroom?  
  
Jazz: He doesn't go to the bathroom silly! He wears diapers like us!  
  
Roddy: Yeah, but this one time I saw him go in there any change his diaper all by himself.  
  
Nanny: You saw Oppie change his own diaper? (she thinks to herself, 'he's too young to know how to do that!').  
  
Roddy: Yeah! It took him no time at all. Weird huh?  
  
Megs: (shouting from his crib) That means he's an even bigger NERD that we thought! (the babies nod in agreement with Megs).  
  
Starscream: Yeah! Whose ever heard of a baby changing his own poopy diapers!  
  
Soundwave: You poop in your diapers, Screamy?  
  
Starscream: Well yeah, don't you?  
  
Soundwave: No.  
  
Starscream: Oh. . .(his face flushes)  
  
Nanny: We must find him! The last place everybody saw him was the playground, so I think we should start searching there!  
  
Megs: Can't I go too? I mean after all, he my friend and I soooo care about him. (his red eyes grow big with a sympathetic look)  
  
Nanny: (thinking to herself for a moment) Well,. . . .okay.  
  
Megs: (to himself) Sucker!  
  
(Everybody rushes outside looking for Oppie, suddenly Roddy shouts 'I FOUND HIM!' The gang runs over to a tall tree, where Oppie is perched on a branch high at the top)  
  
Nanny: (in a desperate voice) OH MY POOR LITTLE BABY OPPIE!  
  
(Starscream and Megs roll over in laughter. (they thought he was dumb before . . .)  
  
Nanny: Oppie! Won't you come down?"  
  
(Oppie grips the branch tightly nodding his head frantically in the 'no' fashion)  
  
Ultra Mags: He's really stuck!  
  
(Megs and Starscream are howling with laughter)  
  
Ultra Mags: Be quiet the both of you! I bet he's frightened to death and then you come along and make it worse!  
  
(Megs slaps Starscream's arm) Yeah, shut up Starscream!  
  
Starscream: Owww! Jerk!  
  
Nanny: Stop this at once! Oppie is stuck and I might have to call the fire department to get him down.  
  
(Starscream and Megs start howling again)  
  
Wheeljack: Maybe I can construct a ladder to get him down!  
  
Ultra Mags: That might take to long! We need to do something quick!  
  
Grimlock: Me, Grimmy knock tree down! (Grimlock transforms to dino-mode and uses his head as a battling ram against the tree. The tree shakes violently, which only causes Oppie to grip the branch tighter, screaming 'AHHHHHHHH').  
  
Nanny: No Grimmy don't! You'll only scare him more! (Oppie starts crying)  
  
Roddy: I'll get him down! (Roddy jumps up the tree and begins to make his way up the branches)  
  
Kup: Don't do it lad! It's too dangerous!  
  
Nanny: Come down Roddy! You could make things worse!  
  
(Roddy reaches the top of the tree, then crouches down and with one hand hangs on the tree trunk to stable himself, then reaches out with the other hand towards Oppie)  
  
Roddy: Reach for my hand, Oppie! (Oppie shakes his head violently in the 'no' fashion).  
  
Roddy: What are you afraid of? Here, I'll come out closer to you (Roddy inches his way closer to Oppie, then suddenly the branch splinters and cracks)  
  
Roddy: Uh Oh. . .(the weight causes the branch to fall, Roddy grabs the tree trunk and is safe, while Oppie falls straight down to the ground with a crash).  
  
(The crowd gathers around Oppie, who is immediately scooped up by Nanny. She runs toward the nursery with him hysterically calling his name. Roddy climbs back down).  
  
Ultra Mags: (with his hands on his hips) Nice one Roddy!  
  
Roddy: Hey! I was just trying to help him!  
  
Kup: You might have gotten him killed!  
  
Megs: Wouldn't that be funny if he was really dead!?"  
  
(The others look at him angrily)  
  
Megs: I mean . . . Oh how horrible!  
  
Roddy: I didn't mean to hurt him, it's just that I wanted to help, that's all!  
  
Kup: Next time, stay away lad!  
  
Ultra Mags: Trouble always seems to follow you around!  
  
Roddy: (ignoring them) Hey! What's that? (suddenly in the bushes beside the tree they see a light beaming through the leaves. Roddy pushes the branches aside and stares amazed, the crowd gathers to look)  
  
All: IT'S THE BLUE GLOWING BALL THINGY!  
  
Roddy: WOW! (he picks it up. Suddenly and without warning, he begins to grow in size, and the voice of Peter Cullen comes out of nowhere and says, "Arise Training Pants Prime!")  
  
Megs: What the HELL! Where did that voice come from!  
  
(They all look around)  
  
Ultra Mags: The glowing thingy must have popped out of Oppie when he fell!  
  
(They all stare at Roddy, a.k.a Training Pants Prime, who looks very similar to his old self, with the exception that he is the size of a toddler now and wears a pair of golden Huggies Pull Ups).  
  
TPP: Look at me! I'm a big kid now! (he pulls down his pants, then pulls them back up again).  
  
Starscream: I want to wear the Training Pants now! (Starscream reaches for TPP)  
  
TPP: No way! I'm not sharing my pants with you, you might poop in them!  
  
Megs: (howls with laughter) Yeah! Nobody wants to share with you POOPY PANTS!  
  
Starscream: Shut up!  
  
Megs: When's the last time you crapped your pants today, Starscream?  
  
Starscream: SHUT UP!  
  
Megs: You said you just crapped how many minutes ago?  
  
Starscream: I DO NOT CRAP IN MY DIAPERS, OKAY!  
  
Megs: Yes you do!  
  
Starscream: NO I DON'T!  
  
Megs: (making a farting noise with his hands) OH YES YOU DO!!!  
  
Starscream: DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T DON'T!!!!  
  
Megs: DO DO DO DO DO DO!!!!!!!!!You just don't do, you go do-do!  
  
Starscream: I DO NOT CRAP MY PANTS!  
  
Ultra Mags: STOP IT OKAY WE BELIEVE YOU! (Starscream is panting heavily) We should go back to the nursery to find out if Oppie's okay!  
  
Jazz: Yeah, but when Nanny sees Training Pants Prime, she'll flip!  
  
Kup: Maybe you shouldn't go back to the nursery with us Rod. . .uh . .I mean, Training Pants Prime, just for now.  
  
TPP: Wait! I want to go! After all, I have to give him his thingy back! Here, I'll take it out. (He takes it out of himself and returns back to Roddy). LETS GO!  
  
Megs: Let's not be too hasty! We should find out what this thingy is before we return it. It may be the key that unlocks the clues to conquering the universe! (he looks around, finding himself standing all alone).  
  
Megs: Duoh! (he runs back to the nursery with the others).  
  
(Back at the nursery, Nanny is cradling Oppie in her arms, who is wrapped in a blanket. She is singing to him, 'you must have been a beautiful baby' he giggles. The gang all tromps in and sees Nanny with Oppie. Megs is the last to tromp in).  
  
Nanny: Isn't it wonderful kids? Oppie's fine!  
  
Megs: Damn!  
  
Ultra Mags: That's great to hear Nanny. But what was he doing at the top of the tree?  
  
(The whole gang goes 'YEAH!')  
  
Nanny: Well kids, he was trying to put a baby bird back in its nest when he realized how high he was and couldn't climb back down.( The gang goes, 'Ohhh')  
  
Megs: A baby bird? All that for a STUPID BIRD! That is the lamest thing I ever heard, I mean, what a friggin' stupid thing to get stuck up a tree for!  
  
Nanny: Oppie was just being his sweet self by trying to help someone in need. (she looks affectionately at him, 'weren't you my cute little boy!') He giggles.  
  
Megs: GAWD! That's disgusting! Why, if it were any more disgusting, it would be right up there with Screamy's poopy diapers!  
  
Starscream: I hate you.  
  
Kup: (looking at Ultra Mags) When will those two ever stop?  
  
Ultra Mags: They're really two of a kind.  
  
Kup: Yeah, why they remind me of a set of identical twins fighting it out in the birth canal.  
  
Ultra Mags: You know what? That's a really weird thing to say!  
  
Kup: Well it does!  
  
Ultta Mags: How the HELL would you know what it's like going down a birth canal?!!  
  
Kup: Cuz I remember like it was yesterday, I squeezed and I squeezed . . .  
  
Ultra Mags: EWWWW! You're a FREAK Kup! (Ultra Mags runs away)  
  
Kup: Fine run away! I'll just go and play with Roddy then. (Kup approaches Roddy who sees him coming and runs away). Was it really that weird? Gosh, maybe I shouldn't tell everybody all the things I can remember.  
  
(Nanny puts Oppie down and yawns) It's been a long and exciting day kids, and I need a nap! (The babies all start to yawn as well. It has been a long day. The babies all take sleeping mats and lie atop of them for naptime. Oppie climbs into the toy chest and closes the lid. Megs snuggles his teddy bear. Soundwave and Starscream jump into cribs).  
  
(Roddy taps on the lid of the toy chest. Oppie slowly opens it) Here is your blue thingy. You lost it when you fell from the tree. I'm sorry you fell and got hurt. Will you forgive me? (Oppie's eyes well up with tears. He hugs Roddy. He then takes the blue glowing ball thingy and puts it back into his chest, then sinks back down into the chest with the lid closing down on top of him).  
  
Roddy: Sleep tight Oppie!  
  
(Naptime ends and the babies wake up one by one)  
  
Megs: DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! WHERE'S MY TEDDY BEAR!  
  
The End-or so you think! Reviews are appreciated, thanks! :- 


	2. My glorious destiny, by Meggytron

Here is the next installment of the wacky Transformer Babies saga . . . sorry for the long wait, I was working the Transformer/Lord of the Rings story. But here it is! Enjoy!  
  
[The Transformer Babies are playing happily in the nursery, with the exception of Oppie, who is cowering in a corner shivering with fear. Starscream has a transformed Meggy in his hand and is torturing him with questions trying to get him to talk].  
  
Megs: SO, you think you take my teddy bear and get away with it do you? Well, maybe it's time I taught you a little lesson. (Starscream laughs menacingly and starts to pull the trigger when Nanny walks in)  
  
Nanny: Meggy! How many times have I told you not to point yourself at people! (Oppie runs away and hides)  
  
(Starscream and Meggy both get startled and Meggy transforms back to robot mode). I'm sorry Nanny, I must have forgot.  
  
Nanny: You seem to be forgetting about that an awful lot lately.  
  
Meggy: Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Maybe I forgot because I'm hungry.  
  
Nanny: Your hungry? Oh my sweet little Bot, I'll make you something right away! (she hurries off to get him an "energon bottle" (Meggy grimaces, he HATES it when she calls him that! She runs back to him and hands him the bottle, which he sucks on happily).  
  
Nanny: Now, how about I read you all a story? (Nanny pulls a stack of animal books from the playroom bookshelf).  
  
(all the babies go YEAH!!!!)  
  
Megs: Oh, alright fine! But it better be a good one!  
  
Nanny: Well. . .lets see what I got here, how about a book about Tigers?  
  
Megs: Lame.  
  
Nanny: Zebras?  
  
Megs: Lame.  
  
Nanny: Petro-rabbits?  
  
Megs: REALLY LAME!!!  
  
Ultra Mags: Oh Nanny! Stop trying to make him happy and just read something!  
  
(The babies all nod in agreement)  
  
Nanny: Well, if we're not all going to agree, I'll just go ahead and pick one (she cracks open one of the animal books). Petro-rabbits it is!  
  
Megs: (whose talking to Soundwave) I can't believe she's going to make us sit here and listen to a story about robotic vermin! (Soundwave nods in agreement)  
  
Kup: But I love the story of petro-rabbits!  
  
Grimlock: (looking at Megs) Me, Grimmy, what to know what Petro-Rabbit is?  
  
Megs: GAWD I DON'T KNOW! It's some stupid thing an inventor came up with! He's probably some miserable idiot who created them just to piss me off!  
  
Nanny: Meggy! If you don't behave and clean up that language, you'll stay in timeout and won't go out to the playground!!  
  
All: (looking shocked) 'ooooooooooo'.  
  
Megs: (noticeably scared) IM SORRY NANNY! I'll never say a bad word again and I'll behave! HONEST!  
  
Nanny: Alright, as long as you promise to behave.  
  
Megs: I will! (to himself) Sucker.  
  
(Suddenly Nanny feels a gentle pull on one of her green and white striped socks. Nanny looks down to find Oppie, whose holding up a book for her to read in his tiny blue hand. She reaches down and takes it from him).  
  
Nanny: Why, thank you Oppie! (he flushes with happiness) Look kids! Oppie has brought me his favorite animal book, "All About Gorillas!"  
  
Megs: Ack! (he starts to choke on his energon bottle. Soundwave whacks him on the back a bunch of times. Megs regains composure). WHAT???  
  
Nanny: The book is called, "All about gorillas!"  
  
Megs: Please don't read that Nanny! I hate monkeys! Especially gorillas!  
  
Starscream: Rally-Monkey, anybody? (Starscream is holding a bunch of stuffed brown monkeys in his arms, passing them around to everybody).  
  
Megs: Please Oppie, please! (he grovels on the floor at Oppie's feet) Don't make her read that book! Have mercy on me!  
  
(Oppie gives Meggy a confused look. He can't understand what it is about gorillas that brought out all that emotion. He shrugs at Nanny and takes the book back from her hand).  
  
Megs: Thank you Oppie, thank you! (Oppie, not quite sure what to do with himself, pats Megs on the head to console him).  
  
Megs: Alright, alright, don't pet me! (he gets up and dusts himself off, glaring at Oppie)  
  
Nanny: Kids, I think it's time to learn an important principal today. It's called compromise.  
  
(The babies all stare at her with blank looks)  
  
Starscream: Compro . .compri . . compre .  
  
Megs: COMPROMISE MORON! COMPROMISE!  
  
Starscream: WELL! It's a hard word! (looking at Nanny) What does it mean?  
  
(The babies all nod in agreement. Meggy rolls his optics in disgust)  
  
Nanny: Compromise is the ability to work together for a common good. When people compromise, all sides can get what they want and be happy.  
  
(Babies all go 'Oh' )  
  
Starscream: Compromise is a silly idea, Nanny!  
  
Nanny: And why is that Screamy?  
  
Starscream: Because it's impossible for EVERYBODY to be happy! It would be far better if I'm happy and everybody is happy that I'm happy!  
  
(All the babies look confused, including Nanny)  
  
Megs: I'd be happy if he'd just shut up!  
  
(Starscream glares at Meggy)  
  
Nanny: And I'd be happy if you both would behave!  
  
Jazz: You know what makes me happy! Music! I love music! Wanna hear my new song I wrote?  
  
Blaster: Yeah Man! I wanna hear your new groove!  
  
Jazz: Alright! Everybody put you hands together! This ones called, "Bots all over the world!"  
  
Blaster: Kick it man!  
  
Bots all over the world!  
  
Bots all over the world!  
  
Check out my funk! Check out my funky style,  
  
Jazz it here and all the crowd goes wild!  
  
Got nothin' to lose, got nothin' to prove  
  
Just kickin' it here with my rhymes so smooth;  
  
In a funk? In a funky way?  
  
Just hang around with me and we'll close the day,  
  
With a night to remember, with a night of fun!  
  
We'll party all night so don't bring your guns!  
  
Bots all over the world!  
  
Bots all over the world!  
  
Ain't into deceivin' ain't in ta lies,  
  
Just dancin' to a beat that will hypnotize!  
  
Ya might drive a Benz or just ride a horse,  
  
But ya don't need a Lexus to hang with a Porsche!  
  
Bots all over the world!  
  
Bots all over the world!  
  
Bots all over the world!  
  
Bots all over the world!  
  
Nanny: Why, that was wonderful Jazz!  
  
Blaster: Yeah man, your song was platinum!  
  
Nanny: Songs are a wonderful way to express yourself. Poetry can help express the things that go on in our private thoughts. I love poetry in all its forms!  
  
Megs: I wrote a poem once, Nanny! (Starscream and Soundwave look at him with surprise)  
  
Nanny: You did Meggy? That's wonderful! What did you call it?  
  
Megs: It's called, "My glorious destiny!"  
  
Nanny: Do you want to share your poem with us?  
  
Megs: Okay. (He takes the piece of paper out of an arm compartment and unfolds the paper, then clears his throat). "My glorious destiny!" by Meggy- tron  
  
Playing games, hanging around,  
  
Is what my life looks like right now;  
  
But someday soon, maybe far,  
  
I'll rule the universe and be a star;  
  
Upon my throne, I'll count energon cubes,  
  
You'll answer to me, you insolent fools!  
  
In triumph I'll glitter bright as the dawn;  
  
They'll shout, 'Behold the glorious Meggy-tron!'  
  
  
  
What will I do after I'm done?  
  
Become a cannon and not a gun?  
  
Maybe a dragon from far away!  
  
Or perhaps a tank that saves the day?  
  
O Universe! My destiny is sweet!  
  
I'll have millions of servants at my feet!  
  
And legions of warriors at my side;  
  
I'll conquer you all, especially YOU Oppie Prime!  
  
(Oppie gasps and jumps into the toy chest. Soundwave applauds thunderously)  
  
Nanny: That was a . . . . . ummmm . . . .an interesting poem, Meggy!  
  
Megs: Yes, I'm rather proud of it actually. (He folds it back again and puts it into his arm compartment). Anybody think they can do better than that?  
  
(Suddenly, Oppie's arm shoots out of the toy chest with a piece of paper in his hand. Ultra Magnus walks over and takes it from him. The arm shoots back into the toy chest.  
  
Ultra Mags: Hey everybody! Oppie has something to say!  
  
Nanny: What does he say Mags?  
  
Ultra Mags: He writes, "Meggy's poem sounds like poop."  
  
Megs: I'LL KILL HIM! (Meggy runs over to the toy chest trying to pry the lid open). YOU'LL DIE FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!!  
  
(Ultra Mags, Jazz, Soundwave and Roddy pry Meggy away from the toy chest. Nanny finally seizes him)  
  
Nanny: I think it's time for your Ritalin pill, Meggy. (Meggy moans as she hands him his Ritalin pill and a small cup of energon formula)  
  
Meggy: Why do I have to take this stuff, Nanny!  
  
Nanny: The doctor says it will help you calm down and relax so you can focus and won't be so hyperactive.  
  
Meggy: BUT I AM CALMED DOWN AND RELAXED!!! Uh . . . . I mean, I am calm and relaxed, Nanny (he gives her a big red eyed angelic look).  
  
Nanny: (Whose not convinced) Meggy, take your pill like a good little Bot.  
  
(Meggy puts the pill in his mouth and takes a swig of his formula. Nanny then walks out of the nursery. When Meggy sees she's not around anymore, he spits it out and hands it to Soundwave, who gladly swallows it down for him).  
  
Meggy: Thanks Soundwave! How can I conquer the universe when I'm all doped up on that stuff!  
  
(Soundwave has a glazed over happy look on his face)  
  
Meggy: Riiiiight.  
  
Ultra Mags: Meggy, why do you always have to create problems?  
  
Meggy: What do you mean me? Oppie stole my teddy bear, insulted my poem, gets treated like an angel by Nanny, and now he needs to be taught a lesson!  
  
Ultra Mags: I don't care what you think he's done! He's my friend and if you hurt him, you'll have me to deal with!  
  
Megs: Oh yeah? And who are you? Like his big brother or something!?  
  
Ultra Mags: Something like that, yeah!  
  
Megs: And when I decide to teach Oppie a lesson, what do you think you're gonna do to me? (Soundwave and Starscream walk behind Meggy and cross their arms like tuff guys).  
  
Ultra Mags: I'll do this! (He rips Meggy's diaper off and runs)  
  
Meggy: MY DIAPER!!!!! HE STOLE MY DAMN DIAPER!!!!! AFTER HIM!!!!!  
  
(Soundwave releases baby kitten Ravage and Rumble. Starscream transforms to jet mode, as Meggy hides behind the toy chest extremely embarrassed he got his diapers ripped off)  
  
(Ultra Mags giggles with glee and throws the diaper to Hot Roddy, yelling 'catch!' Starscream dives down to intercept, but Roddy catches it in time and dodges Starscream, who crashes into the wall. Roddy throws the diaper to Grimlock, who is in dino-mode and chomps it easily. Ravage grabs the other end of the diaper, and are now engaged in a furious tug-of war over Meggy's diaper.)  
  
Meggy: Don't just stand there Soundwave! Do something! (Soundwave starts to jump for Grimlock, but gets tackled instead by Jazz. Roddy jumps on Rumble).  
  
Grimlock easily wins possession of the diaper from Ravage and swallow it.  
  
All: EEEWWWWWW!!!!  
  
Meggy: My diaper!!!!  
  
Starscream; Hope you didn't poop in them diapers, Meggy!  
  
Meggy: I don't poop in my diapers IDIOT! That's your hobby!  
  
Starscream: IS NOT!!!!  
  
Meggy: Ultra Magnus shall pay for taking my diaper! HE SHALL PAY!!!!  
  
End of chapter 2 - OH MY GAWD! Will Meggy ever behave? Can he get his diaper back? Can any other baby top Meggys poem? Chapter 3 shall answer these questions and more! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee, till then, bye! 


	3. Meggy's ultimate plan

The TF Babies are here again! Thank you to all who reviewed! Especially my faithful reviewer Albedo, who always has a kind word to say! Much luv to you Albedo! Also to MJ, who is a kindred spirit with me in the G1 universe. Thanks again to all, your feed back has been great! (wipes tear from eye). ENJOY!  
  
Personal Disclaimer: I don't own nuthin, NUTHIN! Make no money off it and own zero, nada, ziltch. Happy now all you silly legal types? Well if you are, here is Chapter 3!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
[The G1 Babies are playing happily in the nursery. Meggy and Soundwave are sitting in a Fisher-Price plastic fort talking to each other. Meggy is still without a diaper]  
  
Meggy: It's the perfect plan, Soundwave! Do you like it? This scheme will teach Oppie to insult my poem and steal my teddy bear! (Soundwave nods enthusiastically)  
  
Starscream: (sticking his head through a window opening) Hey, what are you two talking about?  
  
Meggy: I have invented the ultimate plan to get even with Oppie.  
  
Starscream: Cool! What's the plan?  
  
Meggy: Well . . . .I could tell you, but first you're going to have to join my club.  
  
Starscream: A club? Whose in it?  
  
Meggy: Well, I just started it. So far, only Soundwave and I are in it.  
  
Starscream: Okay! I want to be in the club! Do I get a secret password?  
  
Meggy: No you don't get a secret password, stupid! It's just the three of us! Why would you need a password? It's not like I don't know who you are!  
  
Starscream: It was just a suggestion! Geeze!  
  
Meggy: This is perfect. With the three of us joining forces, I can execute my plan against Oppie Prime and that revolting Ultra Mags!  
  
Starscream: So, what is it?  
  
Meggy: You don't just get "in the club," Screamy. In order for you to be one of us, you'll have to pay the friendship dues!  
  
Starscream: WHAT!  
  
Meggy: Yes, friendship dues! They are required if you want to hang around with us.  
  
Starscream: Friendship dues? What do you mean FRIENDSHIP dues?! You mean I have to PAY to be your friend?  
  
Meggy: You don't need to pay the friendship dues right now, Screamy. You can pay them at the end of the week on Friday. And then every Friday after that.  
  
Starscream: We'll, whose gonna pay to be MY FRIEND?  
  
Meggy: Nobody.  
  
Starscream: Does Soundwave have to pay the friendship dues too?  
  
Meggy: No.  
  
Starscream: WAIT A MINUTE! So, you're saying only I have to pay to be your friend?  
  
Meggy: Yup.  
  
Starscream: THAT SUCKS! WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY TO BE YOUR FRIEND!  
  
Meggy: Hey, that's the breaks pal. Either be apart of the cool club, or get your head out of our fort!  
  
Starscream: I can't believe I'm doing this! Okay! I'll pay.  
  
Meggy: Good. Now I'll just need a deposit.  
  
Starscream: WHAT!  
  
Meggy: You know; a deposit? I'll need some form of payment to make good on your word. I'll need a first and last months deposit up front before I let in you into the club.  
  
Starscream: You don't need a deposit! You're just taking advantage of me Meggy-tron!  
  
Meggy: I suggest you break that piggy bank of yours, Screamy. Otherwise, no evil plan for you!  
  
Starscream: AH MAN! (he runs out to get his piggy bank).  
  
(Meggy and Soundwave roll around on the fort floor in laughter).  
  
Meggy: Can you believe that, Soundwave? He's actually gonna do it! He doesn't even know how much it costs yet! What an idiot!  
  
(Screamy runs back into the fort with his piggy bank. He clunks down on the floor holding his bank)  
  
Starscream: Here it is, this is all I have!  
  
Meggy: Good. Break it!  
  
(Screamy breaks his bank on the fort floor. Coins and paper currency crash on the ground)  
  
Meggy: Well well well! I see you've collected quite a bit of cash for yourself!  
  
Starscream: I've earned most of it. Some is from winning the blue ribbon on my science project; some is from my allowance money; and some is from helping Nanny get things from the high shelves she can't reach.  
  
Meggy: Reeeeeeeally?  
  
Starscream: Yes, but don't tell Thundercracker or Durge that last part. It's my own private nitch that's just between me and Nanny. Nobody else knows she gives me cash for that.  
  
Meggy: You must have over a hundred dollars on the floor, Screamy!  
  
Starscream: Yes, I've been saving it up for a few years.  
  
Meggy: Tell ya what, Screamy. You just give me everything that's in that bank, and we'll forget all about Friendship dues forever. How's that?  
  
Starscream: YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME GIVE YOU MY ENTIRE PIGGY BANK?  
  
Meggy: Yes.  
  
Starscream: But that's all I have!  
  
Meggy: Yeah, AND! Do you want to be cool or not?  
  
Starscream: You're not cool Meggy! You're just using extor . . . exter . . . . extori. . .  
  
Meggy: Extortion?  
  
Starscream: YES! Extortion on me!  
  
Meggy: Either give me the money or get out of the fort!  
  
Starscream: But do I have to give you ALL of it?  
  
Meggy: Well. . . . . .not ALL of it, here (Meggy hands Screamy a quarter). You can keep that much. Don't say I never gave you nothin'.  
  
Starscream: Oh MAN! This plan better be good to cost me my entire piggy bank!  
  
Meggy: Oh don't worry, it is!  
  
Starscream: Well . . . . SPILL IT!  
  
(Meggy whispers the plan in Screamy's audio receptor)  
  
Starscream: WOW! That is a good plan!  
  
Meggy: Yes, I know.  
  
Starscream: What are we waiting for? Let's go!  
  
Meggy: Excuse me? I am in command here, remember?  
  
Starscream: Oh yeah.  
  
Meggy: (clears throat) LET'S GO!  
  
(They run out of the nursery).  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
[Back in the nursery, all the TF Babies are playing happily together (of course)!. Ultra Mags, Jazz, Hot Roddy, and Kup are playing Monopoly. Baby Unicron (whose in planet form), rolls over close to them.]  
  
Jazz: Ha! I just got "Park Place!" Now my hood is extending to the rich parts of town!  
  
Ultra Magnus: I can't believe I landed in jail again!  
  
Hot Roddy: You seem to have no luck at all.  
  
Ultra Mags: The games not over yet Roddy! You're almost out of money. I can't believe you spent it all buying property for "Baltic Ave!"  
  
Hot Roddy: Hey? What's wrong with Baltic Ave? It's a great location!  
  
Ultra Mags: Whatever! When I get out, I'm gonna buy property at OOOOOWWWWWW!  
  
(Unicron chomps on Ultra Magnus' leg)  
  
Ultra Mags: LET ME GO!!!!! HELP!!!  
  
Kup: Unicron! Stop trying to eat Ultra Magnus! You know you'll get in major trouble for this!  
  
(Unicron uses his "pinchers" to suck Ultra Mags deeper into his mouth).  
  
Ultra Mags: He's gonna eat me! Get Nanny, hurry! (Hot Roddy runs off to get Nanny) AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
(Unicron slurps Ultra Mags into himself)  
  
Unicron: BURP!  
  
(Hot Roddy runs into the kitchen to get Nanny, who's preparing lunch)  
  
Hot Roddy: Nanny, come quick! Unicron just ate Ultra Magnus, AGAIN!  
  
Nanny: OH NO! I hope we can get him out this time! (They both run into the nursery).  
  
(In the nursery, Jazz, Kup, Bumblebee, and Blurr are banging on the outer hull of Unicron)  
  
All: LET HIM GO!!!!  
  
Blurr: LETHIMGOLETHIMGOLETHIMGOLETHIMGO!!!!!!!  
  
(Nanny runs in)  
  
Nanny: UNICRON!  
  
(Unicron tries to roll away)  
  
Nanny: How many times have I told you NOT to eat your playmates! Release Ultra Mags this minute!  
  
Unicron: NO!  
  
Nanny: Unicron, if you don't let him go, there will be no storytelling for you!  
  
Unicron: I'M HUNGRY!  
  
Nanny: Lunch is almost ready. Why don't you let Ultra Maggy go and then you can eat real food! How does that sound?  
  
Unicron: NO!  
  
Nanny: Oh dear. What am I going to do? I'm sure I fed him an extra potion during snack time!  
  
Jazz: Which was fifteen minutes ago! He just gets hungrier by the minute!  
  
Hot Roddy: And bigger too! Look at the size of him! (Unicron expands another 10 inches in every direction).  
  
Nanny: Oh dear! I think I might have to call a doctor! What am I to do?  
  
Kup: If you don't get Ultra Mags out right now, he might die!  
  
Nanny: OH NO! (she starts to cry) Ultra Maggy, my poor little baby bot!  
  
(Suddenly Oppie pushes his way through the crowd and faces Unicron. Unicron shrinks in fear and starts to roll away, but Oppie traps him in a corner).  
  
Bumblebee: Would you look at that? It seems Unicron is afraid of Oppie!  
  
(Oppie glares at Unicron)  
  
Oppie: LET MAGGY GO!  
  
Jazz: Did you hear that? Oppie just said something!  
  
Unicron: NO!  
  
Oppie: LET MAGGY GO, NOW!  
  
Unicron: NO!  
  
(Oppie takes out the blue glowing ball thingy from his chest. It glitters brightly around him. He starts to walk with it right up to Unicron's mouth)  
  
Oppie: LET MAGGY GO NOW, OR BOOM BOOM FOR YOU!  
  
(All the Babies look at eachother in disbelief)  
  
Jazz: Did he just threaten Unicron?  
  
(Unicron starts to shake and choke. He then spits out Magnus, who is covered in goo).  
  
All: HOOOOOOOORRRRAY!  
  
Ultra Mags: OH YUCK! That was totally NASTY!  
  
(Oppie puts the blue glowing ball thingy back into himself)  
  
Oppie: BAD PLANET! VERY BAD!  
  
(Unicron whimpers, then starts crying. Oppie walks away).  
  
Ultra Mags: Oppie! You just saved my life! You're my hero!  
  
(Oppie blushes).  
  
Ultra Mags: What a friend!  
  
Nanny: Well, now that all that is settled, who's ready for some lunch?  
  
All: MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Unicron: WHAAAH WHAAAH WHAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Nanny: Oh, come on, my sweet little planet. Let's go eat some lunch! (she smiles at him and pats his outer hull).  
  
(Unicron stops crying and rolls himself into the kitchen).  
  
Ultra Mags: I'm not sitting next to HIM for lunch!  
  
Kup: You know, there's something really wrong with watching a planet cry!  
  
(The babies all march into the kitchen).  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
[Meggy, Soundwave and Screamy tip toe down the hall back towards the nursery. Screamy is carrying a large pillowcase that he can barely manage to drag along the ground]  
  
Meggy: They must all be in the kitchen. The coast is clear! C'MON!  
  
(They all tip toe back into the nursery)  
  
Screamy: ARRRGH! Why do I have to carry all this stuff, Meggy?  
  
Meggy: Because you need to go through the initiation process!  
  
Screamy: What's the word IN. . .IT . .IA. . TION mean?  
  
Meggy: It means that in order for you to prove your worth, your going to have to do the grunt work for awhile!  
  
Screamy: What's grunt work?  
  
Meggy: Oh never mind, idiot! Just move your ass and do what I tell you to do!  
  
Screamy: AAARRRGGGHHHH, It's so heavy! Okay! Here it goes! (He dumps the pillowcase)  
  
Meggy: Excellent! Now let's go have lunch and hope that nobody missed us!  
  
Screamy: Great! I'm starvin'!  
  
Meggy: Oh, yeah, and that's the other thing about the initiation process.  
  
Screamy: What other thing?  
  
Meggy: You're going to have to share your lunch with Soundwave and me.  
  
Screamy: WHY?  
  
Meggy: Because I said so. Soundwave agrees, right Soundwave?  
  
(Soundwave nods in agreement)  
  
Screamy: OH HELL! THIS CLUB SUCKS!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
(In the kitchen, the TF Babies are eating their favorite food, "Energon Alphabet Soup!" The babies are all sitting in high chairs at a very long table (think Hogwarts). The babies are all slurping their soup]  
  
Bumblebee: Wow! Look guys! I just spelled the word, "neat" with the letters in my soup!  
  
Thundercracker: Hey! I just spelled, "nerd" which sorda reminds me of you, Bumblebee!  
  
Ultra Mags: And I just spelled, "ass" which is exactly what I'm going to kick if somebody doesn't shut up!  
  
Durge: Hey Thundercracky? How do you like your "ass" served?  
  
Thundercracker: SHUT UP!  
  
Durge: I think he likes his "ass" served with chocolate!  
  
Thundercracker: You had better be quiet right now Durgy, of else I'm gonna dump this soup on your head!"  
  
Ultra Mags: All right, STOP IT!  
  
(Meggy, Screamy, and Soundwave tip toe into the kitchen and sit in their high chairs)  
  
Starscream: Wow! Energon alphabet soup! My favorite!  
  
(Soundwave and Meggy pick up their spoons and both slurp down all of Screamy's soup)  
  
Starscream: HEY! What about me?  
  
Meggy: What ABOUT you?  
  
Starscream: You didn't even leave me with one spoonful!  
  
Meggy: BURP!  
  
Starscream: Ah MAN! Won't anybody share their soup with me?  
  
(Oppie slides his soup down to Screamy)  
  
Starscream: Uh. . . . .(feeling awkward) um. . . . . . .no thanks, I'm not hungry anymore.  
  
(Meggy and Soundwave dive down on Oppie's bowl like vultures and devour the soup)  
  
Starscream: I SWEAR YOU ARE BOTH TOTAL PIGS!  
  
Meggy and Soundwave: BUUUUURP!  
  
Starscream: (to himself) I want out of this damn club!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
[After lunch, the babies go back into the nursery and resume their games. Nanny is sitting in a rocking chair reading the book, "How to raise a Man Eating Planet"]  
  
Meggy: (whose talking to Soundwave and Screamy) The time has come to launch our assault. Are you ready?  
  
(Soundwave and Screamy nod in agreement).  
  
Meggy: Good! We need to get this done before naptime. Let's go.  
  
(Meggy, Soundwave, and Screamy walk in the middle of the nursery).  
  
Meggy: ATTENTION! I need everybody's attention please, especially Nanny!  
  
(All the babies look at the three of the standing in the middle of the nursery)  
  
Meggy: I'm afraid I have unfortunate news. I have discovered something that is so horrible, I'm afraid the person who committed this horrible crime should be executed immediately.  
  
Nanny: Executed? Why in the world would you think up something like that?  
  
Meggy: Oh, don't worry, Nanny. When you see what I found, you'll think execution is merciful!  
  
Nanny: Nobody is going to get executed for making mistakes, Meggy. Now tell me what you saw.  
  
Meggy: I saw this! Show them Starscream!  
  
(Starscream opens up Oppie's toy chest, which is filled with Nanny's panties and bras)  
  
All: GASP!  
  
Nanny: GASP!  
  
Oppie: GASP!  
  
Meggy: You see? I have uncovered a pervert in the nursery!  
  
Starscream: PERVERT! PERVERT! OPPIE'S A PERVERT!  
  
(Oppie runs and dives in the toy chest. He then jumps out of the toy chest, quickly tosses out all the panties and bras, then jumps into it again).  
  
Meggy: And what is worse, is that Ultra Maggy helped collect them!  
  
All: GASP!  
  
Nanny: GASP!  
  
Ultra Mags: I DID NOT!  
  
Meggy: Yes you did.  
  
Ultra Mags: I DID NOT!  
  
Meggy: YES YOU DID!  
  
Jazz: You know what guys? I'm gonna be Ultra Maggy's friend anyway, even if he is a pervert.  
  
Ultra Mags: I AM NOT A PERVERT!  
  
Meggy: It's okay to admit you have a problem Mags.  
  
Ultra Mags: I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COLLECTING NANNY'S PANTIES!  
  
(Meggy turns to look at Screamy, who has wrapped a bra around himself.)  
  
Starscream: Is it me? (he strikes a pose)  
  
Meggy: Would you take that off! YOU ARE EMBARRSING ME!  
  
Starscream: Whaaaaaat? (he takes it off)  
  
Bumblebee: What's a pervert, Nanny?  
  
Nanny: Don't worry your sweet little heart about that Bumblebee.  
  
Meggy: So Nanny? What do you think we should do to punish Oppie and Ultra Maggy? I suggest we all take turns hitting their rear end with a lead pipe!  
  
Ultra Mags: AAAHHHHHH!!!!! (he runs over to the toy chest and pounds on the lid) LET ME IN OPPIE! LET ME IN! (Oppie opens the lid and Ultra Mags jumps in with Oppie, slamming the lid closed).  
  
Meggy: Hiding won't stop the fact you're both a bunch of pervs!  
  
Nanny: All right, kids. We're all going to need to have a talk. But first, (she scoops up her panties and bras and walks out of the nursery back to her room. She then returns).  
  
Nanny: Everybody gather 'round the rocking chair.  
  
(Oppie and Ultra Mags climb out of the toy chest. The babies gather and sit Indian style around Nanny. Ultra Mags and Oppie sit down and everybody backs away from them. Meggy, Screamy, and Soundwave giggle).  
  
Nanny: It's time we all had another lesson, my sweet babies. Let's all talk about curiosity and forgiveness.  
  
Meggy: WHAT! Forgiveness? Are you saying you're not mad?  
  
Nanny: No, I'm not mad.  
  
Meggy: (absolutely infuriated) WELL WHY NOT! Uh. . . . . . . .um. . .. . I mean, Why not, Nanny?  
  
Nanny: Because I believe we've all made mistakes Meggy, and I don't think it was done to make me mad.  
  
Ultra Mags: (stands up) Yes! It's wasn't done to make Nanny mad, in fact, it wasn't done by me or Oppie at all! This was a trick played by somebody else! (takes a suspicious look at Meggy).  
  
Meggy: WAS NOT!  
  
Nanny: It really isn't important, because I believe it's all over now and we can learn some important lessons!  
  
(Oppie's head is still bowed with shame. Nanny picks him up and puts him in her lap).  
  
Meggy: (thinking to himself) Oh great! Here comes the lecture of the century.  
  
Nanny: Being curious is another part of growing up. When we get curious about something we don't understand, all we must remember to ask a grown up to explain it. That way, nobody gets misunderstood or in trouble. Do we all promise to do that?  
  
(The babies all nod "yes" to her, with the exception of Meggy, whose scowling and looking at the ceiling)  
  
Nanny: All right kids! Time to go outside for afternoon recess!  
  
(Babies all go "YEAH!!!!" and run out the nursery door to the playground. Unicron rolls out the door).  
  
[At the playground, the babies are playing happily together. Meggy, Starscream, and Soundwave are standing by the jungle gym talking)  
  
Starscream: Well that was just great! You plan failed miserably, Meggy!  
  
Meggy: I can't believe she didn't get mad! It was the perfect plan!  
  
Starscream: And what is worse is that I lost my entire piggy bank on this plan too!  
  
Meggy: Don't worry, I have other plans in my mind. We will get our revenge!  
  
Starscream: You mean YOUR revenge! I think I want out of this stupid club. I bet I can start my own and it will be WAY better than yours!  
  
Meggy: Oh yeah? I'd like to see you try! You're lucky to have gotten into THIS club!  
  
Starscream; I will have my own club, Meggy. You just watch! Everybody will want to be in it and pay ME to be my friend, humph! (He marches toward around the playground).  
  
Meggy: This should be good, Soundwave. He really has no idea how unpopular he is! (Soundwave giggles).  
  
Screamy: Hey Durgy, you wanna join my club?  
  
Durge: No.  
  
Starscream: Hey Kup, you wanna be in my club?  
  
Kup: No.  
  
Screamy: Hey Thundercracker? You wanna be in my club?  
  
Thundercracker: No.  
  
Screamy: Hey Unicron? You wanna be in my club?  
  
Unicron: No.  
  
(Screamy looks both frustrated and embarrassed. Meggy and Soundwave walk over and show him, "how it's done!")  
  
Meggy; Hey Rumble? You wanna be in my club?  
  
Rumble: Okay!  
  
Meggy: Hey Thundercracky? You wanna be in my club?  
  
Thundercracker: OKAY!  
  
Meggy: Hey Durgy? You wanna be in my club?  
  
Dirge: Okay!  
  
Meggy: Unicron?  
  
Unicron: OKAY!  
  
Meggy: Cool! That's four people already! (looks at Screamy) My club is already starting to look bigger than yours! Why, in fact, it's getting so big, I should, OOOOOWWWWWW!  
  
(Unicron chomped on Meggy's leg)  
  
Meggy: HEY! Let go of my leg!  
  
(Unicron uses his pinchers to start slurping Meggy down)  
  
Meggy: AHHHHH! HE'S GONNA EAT ME! HELP ME SOUNDWAVE!  
  
(Soundwave grabs Meggy's arms and is playing tug-of-war with Unicron)  
  
Meggy: AAAHHH! HELP ME! I DON'T WANNA BE PLANET FOOD!  
  
(Soundwave pulls as hard as he can. Rumble grabs Soundwave's leg in a pathetic attempt to pull Meggy out. Screamy watches with amusement.)  
  
Meggy: PULL HARDER, SOUNDWAVE! STARSCREAM! HELP ME!  
  
Starscream: I'm afraid I would but I'm not in your club anymore, remember?  
  
Meggy: I'LL GIVE YOU BACK ALL YOUR MONEY IF YOU HELP ME!  
  
Screamy: Oh, I wouldn't take back all the money in the world to miss this!  
  
Meggy: YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR TREACHERY!  
  
(Soundwave pulls as hard as he can, but Unicron slurps Meggy down)  
  
Unicron: BUUURP!!!!!  
  
Screamy: AAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!! (He rolls around on the ground with laughter)  
  
(The Babies all gather around Unicron)  
  
Kup: Oh great! Unicron just ate Meggy!  
  
Soundwave: Release Meggy-tron now!  
  
Unicron: NO!  
  
Screamy: That's right Unicron! Just keep him in there! (Soundwave slaps Screamy's arm)  
  
Screamy: Ouch! Jerk!  
  
(Ultra Mags and Oppie push their way through the crowd)  
  
Ultra Mags: You know; I know exactly how to save him. But, (he puts his arm on Oppie's shoulder) I think we should let him sit in there and think about what he's done for awhile. What do you think, Oppie?  
  
(Oppie shakes his head happily in the "yes" fashion)  
  
Ultra Mags: Great! Let's play some Dodge-ball!  
  
(All the Babies go, "YEAH!" and run away to the court, including Starscream and Rumble. Soundwave stands there in front of Unicron, then looks back at all the babies playing dodge-ball, then back at Unicron, then back again to dodge-ball, then back again to Unicron. Finally, he shrugs and runs off to play dodge-ball too)  
  
The end of chapter 3  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++++++++++++  
  
Whoooohoooo! So, the TF Babies had another grand adventure! I hope you liked it. Let me know what you thought! The fact that Unicron even showed up at all was because of reviews like you asking for him. So, here he is at your request! Have an idea? Let me know! I love crazy ideas! It only makes things funnier! C-Ya Later! Crazomatic! 


	4. Meggy and Unicron tag team!

Here is chapter 4 of Transformer Babies. I must say how absolutely delighted I was to receive all the feedback on this latest chapter. I had suggestions for all kinds of different scenarios and characters, like Aleta- 1, the Insecticons, Galvatron, Skyfire, Armada, and the Constructicons. I have seriously taken everything into consideration and will try to weave your ideas into the story if possible. If you didn't see something you were hoping for, don't worry, it may be coming in the next chapter. If the idea gets used, I'll give credit at the end of the fic. Thanks guys! Keep it coming and enjoy!  
  
Personal Disclaimer: I do not own Muppet Babies or the Transformers, and I also make no money off the fic (and if I did, I wouldn't be sitting here right now and I wouldn't be telling YOU that I did, right?)  
  
Okay! So here you go, Chapter 4!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
(The G1 Babies are all sleeping peacefully during naptime in the nursery. Oppie is sleeping in his toy chest, Meggy is curled up with his favorite teddy bear (his leg is twitching), Screamy is sleeping in a crib sucking his thumb, and the rest were all nearby in dreamland)  
  
Meggy: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
(All the babies jolt awake. Nanny runs in the nursery to see what's wrong)  
  
Nanny: Meggy? What's wrong?  
  
Meggy: NANNY NANNY! (He runs to her and she picks him) DON'T LEAVE ME NANNY! (he buries his head in her shoulder)  
  
Nanny: I won't leave you Meggy. Did you have a bad dream?  
  
Meggy: Yes, it was about being inside Unicron again (his optics fill with tears), he ate me alive, Nanny!  
  
Nanny: He sure did, Meggy. But luckily you were brought out in time.  
  
Meggy: I'll never forget what happened!  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++(Flashback #1)++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Meggy's thoughts: There I was, getting sucked into Unicron, with only Soundwave to help me.  
  
Meggy: SOUNDWAVE HELP ME!  
  
(Soundwave pulls as hard as he can, but Unicron slurps him down. After a long game of dodge-ball, the babies decide it was time to get Meggy out).  
  
Ultra Mags: Okay Unicron! You let Meggy go this instant or we'll take out our secret weapon. Hit it Oppie!  
  
(Oppie takes out the blue glowing ball thingy. Unicron shrinks in fear and Meggy is soon spit out)  
  
All: HOOOORY!  
  
Starscream: BOOOOOO!  
  
Meggy: OH YUCK! THAT WAS DISGUSTING! (he crawls to his feet wiping off the goo, then looks at Soundwave) SOUNDWAVE! WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?  
  
(Soundwave looks at the ground in shame)  
  
Meggy: WELL?  
  
Soundwave: Dodge-ball, Mighty Meggy.  
  
(All the babies giggle)  
  
Meggy: Dodge-ball? You went and played a game of dodge-ball when I was trapped inside this metallic monstrosity?  
  
Ultra Mags: And he won the game too! Soundwave is a great dodge-ball player.  
  
Hot Roddy: YEAH! (looking at Soundwave) It's almost as if you know where the person is going to throw the ball before they ever do it!  
  
Ultra Mags: You know, that is kinda weird Soundwave, how do you do that?  
  
(Soundwave shrugs and walks to the side of Meggy)  
  
Meggy: Don't stand beside me, Soundwave. I'm mad at you and need time to think about whether you're still my friend. (he walks away from everybody to spend time alone. Soundwave looks crushed)  
  
Ultra Mags: He'll be alright Soundwave, want to play another game?  
  
Hot Roddy: I want Soundwave on my team!  
  
Kup: Soundwave? Want to play on another game on my team?  
  
(Soundwave looks at everybody completely astonished)  
  
(Oppie nods in agreement and grabs Soundwave's arm. Soundwave is literally dragged back to the court by all the babies excited to play more games with him)  
  
Jazz: Soundwave is so cool!  
  
(Unicron rolls himself over to the court and watches the game as if nothing ever happened)  
  
(Meggy is seen sitting on a hill that overlooks all the babies playing dodge ball. He scowls at them in a frustration and takes out a small notebook from his arm compartment. He decides to write down some thoughts to help him get his priorities straight)  
  
Meggy's Priorities,  
  
1. Conquer the Universe  
  
2. Kill Oppie Prime  
  
3. Kill Ultra Mags  
  
4. Kill Screamy  
  
5. Kill Unicron  
  
6. Slap Soundwave upside head  
  
Meggy smiles at the notebook with satisfaction, then puts it back in his arm compartment. Nanny blows a whistle and they run back to the nursery.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++End of flashback++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Nanny: It's all over now, Meggy. Unicron won't ever try to eat you again. I promise.  
  
Meggy: How do you know that, Nanny?  
  
Nanny: Because he promised!  
  
(Meggy slaps his hand against his forehead in frustration)  
  
Meggy: But just because he TOLD you that doesn't mean he won't do that again! Don't you know anything about deception, Nanny?  
  
Nanny: Well I know that telling a lie is a very harmful thing to do. And I like to believe that Unicron will stand by his promises.  
  
Meggy: What promises? Don't you remember how he promised to stop doing that before? He ate Ultra Maggy three times already! (He wanted to give Nanny an angry look, but instead giggled at the thought of Ultra Maggy getting eaten three times in a row)  
  
Nanny: Oh, my precious little one. You must learn to trust your playmates, it will help you when you're older. Now why don't you run along now and start playing with your friends?  
  
Meggy: Well. . . . (his optics fill with tears), maybe because I don't have any friends.  
  
Nanny: What? But you and Soundwave are the best of friends. And I saw you playing with Screamy just the other day. How can you say you don't have any friends?  
  
Meggy: Soundwave WAS my best friend, but he has other friends now, and as for that insolent piece of sh. . . . .(he stops and remembers who he's talk too), uh. . . .Screamy, well, he's not playing with me right now, either.  
  
Nanny: I'm sure you will all be friends again in no time. (she puts him down) Now go and ask them to play with you.  
  
Meggy: (Realizing he's getting nowhere) Okay Nanny! (He runs around the nursery with a big smile. When she leaves, he runs into the Fisher Price plastic fort and sits down, thinking, "YEAH RIGHT!")  
  
(Meggy peaks out of the window and sees Soundwave surrounded by playmates happily talking to him like he was the most popular baby in the nursery. Meggy then sees Screamy standing all alone watching Soundwave too. Meggy smiles an evil smile. At least he's not the only one alone! He then looks out the fort window again toward Soundwave)  
  
Ultra Maggy: Hey Soundwave? What other games do you play?  
  
Jazz: Hey Soundwave? Will you sit next to me during snack time?  
  
Dirge: Hey Soundwave? Can you show me how to improve my ball throwing skills?  
  
(In the middle of all the clamor, Soundwave senses somebody's watching him. He looks to his left and sees a pair of red eyes peering at him from the fort window. When their eyes meet, Meggy's head ducks down out of view. Soundwave let's out a sad, heavy sigh)  
  
(Meggy sits on the fort floor with his arms crossed looking angry. Soundwave was HIS best friend, and now he's "Mr. Popular himself." While lost in his thoughts, he hears somebody calling his name)  
  
Meggy-tron. . . . . . . . . . .Meggy-tron. . . . . . . . . . . .Meggy-tron.  
  
Meggy: (peaks out the window) WHAT!  
  
Unicron: I must speak with you immediately, Meggy-tron.  
  
Meggy: What do YOU want?  
  
Unicron: I have a proposition for you Meggy-tron. Come out so we can talk.  
  
Meggy: Yeah right! You're just saying that so you can try to eat me again!  
  
Unicron: No, Meggy-tron. I have summoned you for a purpose.  
  
Meggy: (Meggy walks to the fort entrance, puts his hands on his hips and says defiantly) Nobody summons MEGGY-TRON!  
  
Unicron: Come out of the fort and let's talk.  
  
Meggy: AH BITE ME! Whoops! I didn't mean to say that! I mean, GO AWAY!  
  
Unicron: We must join forces to defeat a common enemy.  
  
Meggy: Why should I? What's in it for me?  
  
Unicron: If you listen to what I have to say, both of us can get what we want.  
  
Meggy: I'll give you five seconds to talk, so this better be good!  
  
Unicron: Only five seconds?  
  
Meggy: Yes, I'm a very busy baby you know!  
  
Unicron: Weren't you just sitting on the floor doing nothing?  
  
Meggy: Well, . . . .yes, . . . . . .but,. . . . .ah,. . . . . .OH SHUT UP!  
  
Unicron: Okay, okay! I understand that you don't like your playmate, Oppie Prime.  
  
Meggy: Well there's a no brainer! So, what of it?  
  
Unicron: If you help me get the Matrix he carries, I will make sure Oppie Prime never bothers you again!  
  
Meggy: I utterly detest sounding ignorant, but. . . . .what's the Matrix?  
  
Unicron: It's the blue glowing ball thingy he carries in his chest.  
  
Meggy: Oh, you mean it actually has a name?  
  
Unicron: Yes, and if you bring it to me, I will swallow up Oppie Prime forever and never let him go!  
  
Meggy: Hey, that's a pretty good plan! I think I like the sound of that (rubs chin thoughtfully)  
  
Unicron: Excellent. And now I will make you a new best friend.  
  
Meggy: You can do that? How?  
  
Unicron: Watch this! (Unicron levitates Meggy's favorite teddy bear off the ground)  
  
Meggy: HEY! WHAY ARE YOU DOING!  
  
(Unicron transforms Meggy's bear into a purple baby bot, complete with diaper)  
  
Meggy: DON'T TOUCH MY BEAR!  
  
Unicron: Behold! Your new best friend as payment for your service! (the new baby stands up)  
  
Unicron: He will be your most loyal friend, even more loyal than Soundwave.  
  
Meggy: What's his name?  
  
Unicron: I think I shall call him, Shockwave!  
  
Shockwave: Greetings Meggy, I predict a 98.97% probability that we will get along just fine!  
  
Meggy: Uh. . . .well I guess so. Although I didn't know my teddy bear was a complete nerd (crosses arms and looks away mad)  
  
Unicron: Bring me the Matrix. I'll be waiting for you (Unicron then rolls away to go talk to Soundwave with all the other babies)  
  
Meggy: Hmmmm. . . . . .In order for me to pull this off, I'm going to need more help. (He glances over at Screamy) and some bait!  
  
(Meggy and Shockwave walk over to Screamy)  
  
Meggy: I have come to bring you some good news!  
  
Screamy: (jumps) MEGGY! Uh. . . . . .What good news?  
  
Meggy: I have decided to allow you to be in my club again.  
  
Screamy: (suspicious) WHY?  
  
Meggy: Because I have pardoned you. But if you double cross me again, you'll be sorry!  
  
Screamy: Oh, . . . . (has no idea what the word 'pardoned' means) .So how much is it going to cost me this time?  
  
Meggy: Nothing, only your absolute cooperation!  
  
Screamy: Well I guess so. Whose your new friend?  
  
Meggy: This is Shockwave. Say hello, Shockwave.  
  
Shockwave: Hmmmm, you look rather weak to me. Are you positive he doesn't need to be terminated instead, Meggy?  
  
Starscream: WHY YOU! (clenches fists)  
  
Meggy: WHOW! I thought you were totally nerdy, but now I see Unicron's given you some attitude!  
  
Screamy: Yeah well I've got attitude too! Don't make me angry Shocky, or you will regret it!  
  
Shockwave: Judging by your lack of intelligence, I predict a 57.75% chance you are a physical threat to me.  
  
Starscream: Oh, I don't need to throw punches, Shocky! I can do far worse things!  
  
Shockwave: Really? And what is that?  
  
Starscream: Like this! (rips off Shockwave's diaper and runs)  
  
Shockwave: MY DIAPER!  
  
Meggy: Yup, he's completely evil alright! AFTER HIM! (Meggy and Shockwave chase Screamy around the nursery)  
  
(Starscream runs over to where Soundwave and the others are talking)  
  
Starscream: LOOK OUT! (Screamy zooms by Soundwave with the diaper in his hands, knocking him over and runs out garden patio door to hide. Meggy and Shockwave run up to Soundwave to catch their breath).  
  
Soundwave: Meggy! (face lights up)  
  
Meggy: (awkward) Uh. . . . . .hi, Soundwave. Meet my new friend Shockwave.  
  
All: HI SHOCKWAVE!  
  
Shockwave: Greetings, insignificant ones.  
  
(Screamy sticks his head out of the garden patio door)  
  
Screamy: What does IN. . . .SIG. . . . NIFI. . . .CANT mean?  
  
Meggy: You just wait until I get my hands on you! (He runs over to chase Starscream again)  
  
Ultra Maggy: So, Shockwave. What do you like to do?  
  
Shockwave: I desire to rid the world of inefficient creatures.  
  
Ultra Maggy: Huh? (he looks at Oppie, who looks back and shrugs)  
  
Kup: Does that mean you like to play ball?  
  
Shockwave: I detest games. They are a waste of resources.  
  
Hot Roddy: Well then what DO you like to do?  
  
Shockwave: I like to compute my chances of not talking to YOU anymore.  
  
Hot Roddy: Hey don't be rude! I was just asking, that's all!  
  
(Meggy runs back over with Shockwaves diaper. He has Starscream by the audio receptor)  
  
Starscream: OW! OW! OW!  
  
Ultra Maggy: Your friend Shockwave here is weird, Meggy.  
  
Kup: Yeah, really weird!  
  
Hot Roddy: HA HA! No wonder why he's hanging around with you, Meggy!  
  
(Babies giggle, with the exception of Soundwave)  
  
Meggy: WELL I DON'T BLAME HIM! WHO WOULD WANT TO HANG AROUND A BUNCH OF LOSERS LIKE YOU! C'MON SHOCKWAVE! (He storms off still grabbing hold of Starscream's audio receptor. Shockwave follows)  
  
(Soundwave lets out a deep, heavy sigh, thinking, "Meggy has a new best friend now")  
  
Back at the Fisher Price Plastic Fort, Meggy throws Starscream in the entrance with Shockwave following.  
  
Screamy: Ouch, jerk! That hurt! (rubs side of head)  
  
Meggy: Quiet! I have a new plan and you are GOING to help me!  
  
Screamy: Well, it better be worth it! Last time you had a plan it didn't work.  
  
Meggy: This plan will succeed! Shockwave has already computed my chances of success!  
  
Shockwave: I predict a 99.9% probability that if the plan is executed as scheduled it will be the end of Oppie Prime and the Matrix!  
  
Screamy: Cool! But. . . . . um, what's the Matrix?  
  
Meggy: It the blue glowing ball thingy he keeps inside himself, dummy! GAWD! Can't you figure anything out?  
  
Screamy: Oh, (feeling stupid)  
  
Meggy: Here's the deal. You are going to get swallowed by Unicron; then when Oppie takes out the Matrix, I will grab it from him and give it to Unicron, who will then spit you out and swallow Oppie Prime instead! MUHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!  
  
Screamy: I'M NOT GOING TO GET EATEN BY UNICRON!!!! NO WAY!!!  
  
Meggy: Yes you will! Otherwise I will ask Unicron to eat you too and never let you out!  
  
Screamy: AAAHHHHH! I don't want to this! You can't make me! I'll tell Nanny on you!  
  
Meggy: Really? She won't be able to hear you inside the belly of Unicron! Oh Unicroooooooon. . . .  
  
Screamy: OKAY OKAY! I'll DO IT!  
  
Meggy: Excellent! Now here is how we'll fool them! (whispers plan to them)  
  
(Meanwhile, on the other side of the nursery. . . .)  
  
Ultra Maggy: Soundwave, you are now officially the President of The Dodge- ball League!  
  
All: YEAH SOUNDWAVE!!!!!!  
  
Ultra Maggy: This honor is given to you because of your unbroken number of wins during recess. Congratulations, Soundwave!  
  
(Soundwave is handed a new rubber ball as a prize)  
  
Kup: SPEECH!!! SPEECH!!  
  
(Soundwave looks embarrassed)  
  
Hot Rod: C'mon Soundwave! Say Something!  
  
Soundwave: Well. . . . . . . . . . .I would like to start off by saying, . . . . .  
  
Meggy: OH! Somebody help me! OH the torment! HELP HELP!  
  
(All the babies look over to see what's wrong).  
  
(Meggy and Shockwave run over to them)  
  
Meggy: Oh it's just awful! To behold such treachery before my eyes is too much for me! Oppie! You must come quickly! Only you can save Screamy! (he climbs on Oppie, pushing him over on his back). YOU'VE GOT TO HELP HIM, OPPIE! (shakes him) DO SOMETHING NOW!  
  
Ultra Maggy: Wait happened Meggy? (Meggy climbs off Oppie)  
  
Meggy: Unicron has just swallowed Screamy!  
  
Kup: Oh great! He really needs to stop doing that! I mean, he could get serious planet diarrhea from doing that!  
  
(All the babies stop and look at Kup)  
  
Kup: (noticing their confused looks) Well. . . . .HE CAN!  
  
Ultra Maggy: What do you know about planet diarrhea, anyhow Kup?  
  
Kup: (rambling) Only that he can because my cousin was on this planet once that was alive and the air always smelled bad because the planet kept letting out these huge . . . . . .  
  
Meggy: OKAY! This discussion is getting really gross!  
  
Ultra Maggy: Yeah! Tell me about it!  
  
Meggy: You actually hang around with this kid? And you call me weird? Whatever!  
  
Kup: Well it did! I remember the whole conversation. Humph! (he storms away)  
  
Grimlock: NO! Me Grimmy want to know what planet let out of self!  
  
Hot Roddy: Use your imagination, Grimmy!  
  
Grimlock: NO! YOU TELL ME, GRIMMY NOW!!! (begins to jump up and down in a tantrum)  
  
Hot Roddy: OKAY! I'LL TELL YOU! (whispers in Grimmy's audio receptor)  
  
Grimlock: Oh. . . . . .Me Grimmy think that disgusting!  
  
Hot Roddy: Uh huh.  
  
Meggy: Now, where was I again? Oh yes, PLEASE HELP ME OPPIE! (clasps hands together and pleads)  
  
(Oppie gets a look of concern on his face, then runs over to Meggy and bear hugs him, nodding "yes")  
  
Meggy: OKAY OKAY! DON'T HUG ME! (pushes Oppie away, looking disgusted).  
  
Ultra Maggy: Where's Unicron now, Meggy?  
  
Meggy: Here's over there! (points)  
  
Ultra Maggy: Let's go Oppie!  
  
(The babies start to run over to Unicron, whose hiding behind the fort with Screamy in his mouth, sticking out halfway)  
  
Screamy: They're coming! Let's get this over with, my feet feel like they are standing in wet spaghetti!  
  
(Unicron slurps Starscream down)  
  
Unicron: BURP!  
  
Ultra Maggy: There he is! Behind the fort! (they all run over)  
  
Meggy: OH! MY POOR FRIEND STARSCREAM! (gets on knees and covers face) THIS IS JUST TERRIBLE!  
  
(The gang stops and looks at Meggy)  
  
Ultra Maggy: Uh, there's something wrong here. Since when were you ever Screamy's friend?  
  
(Babies all go "Yeah?")  
  
Meggy: Since the day I discovered what a sweet soul he really is! (Tries to sound and look sympathetic. Shockwave pats him on the back)  
  
Ultra Maggy: Sweet soul? And what would you know about sweet souls, Meggy!  
  
Meggy: (getting off ground and sounding slightly irritated) What? You don't think I don't know what a sweet soul is?  
  
Ultra Maggy: Actually. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .no.  
  
Meggy: (get's in Ultra Maggy's face) WELL I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW WHAT A SWEET SOUL IS! WHY I OUTTA. . . . . . . .uh, (comes back to his senses and looks at Shockwave) I mean,. . . . . .uh, let's just go and rescue Screamy, alright?  
  
Ultra Maggy: Fine, let's go Oppie! (they march off to face Unicron. Meggy lets out an evil smirk)  
  
(The babies all face Unicron)  
  
Ultra Maggy: Alright Unicron! Feeding times over! Hand over Screamy right now, or we'll use our secret weapon on you!  
  
Unicron: NO!  
  
Kup: You should probably let Screamy go, Unicron. You could get planet diarrhea from doing that!  
  
Meggy: OH NO! NOT THAT STUPID TOPIC AGAIN!  
  
Ultra Maggy: Alright! Enough! We are NOT going to talk about diarrhea right now! We have to rescue Screamy!  
  
Grimlock: NO! ME GRIMMY WANT TO HEAR ABOUT DIARRHEA!  
  
Unicron: Who has gotten planet diarrhea?  
  
Kup: (steps up delighted somebody asked about his story) Well, . . . . .my cousin was on this planet once where he and the entire crew needed to wear protective suits because the planet kept letting out these humongous runny pieces of. . . . . . . . .  
  
Meggy: STOP IT! GAWD I CAN'T LISTEN TO THIS NONESENSE ANYMORE! SOMEBODY MAKE HIM SHUT UP!  
  
Kup: Well, he did have it! And if it got into your armor, it would stain it this weird brown color and mmmmmph! (Oppie walks behind Kup and puts his hand over his mouth).  
  
Meggy: OH! THANK YOU PRIMUS!  
  
Unicron: HA HA HA HA! Oh! You mean Uncle Bob? He got a wicked case of it and needed to vacate the galaxy because of his bad diarrhea!  
  
(Kup struggles free from Oppie's grip) AH HA! You see? I wasn't lying! I told you I knew about it!  
  
Hot Rod: You know what, Kup? Sometimes it's not always okay for you to tell us EVERYTHING you know!  
  
Kup: Hey! I'm just trying to warn you! But luckily you can smell him coming from light years away if ya know what I mean!  
  
Meggy: Well, thank you very much Kup, I was just about to say how always wanted to visit a PLANT WITH DIARRHEA PROBLEMS! YOU'RE SUCH A MORON I SWEAR!  
  
Kup: Well . . .HE DID.  
  
Meggy: WHATEVER! Now, where were we again before this fool got us off track? Oh yes, we were attempting to rescue Screamy.  
  
Kup: I'm not a fool!  
  
(Shockwave transforms to gun mode and lands in Meggy's hand)  
  
Meggy: (points at Kup) SHUT UP!! YOU SAY ANOTHER WORD ABOUT DIARRHEA AND I'LL SHOOT!  
  
Ultra Maggy: Alright! Enough the both of you! (Meggy lowers Shockwave, and he transforms back to robot mode)  
  
Ultra Maggy: Now we're only going to give you ONE last chance Unicron, let Screamy go now or ELSE!  
  
Unicron: I'm sorry, I'm having a hard time hearing lately, won't you come closer?  
  
(Oppie and Ultra Maggy move in closer)  
  
Ultra Maggy: I SAID, LET SCREAMY GO OR ELSE!  
  
(Oppie opens up his chest compartment and takes out the blue glowing ball thingy)  
  
Unicron: You're going to have to come closer. . . . . . . .closer I say!  
  
(Ultra Maggy, Meggy, Shockwave, and Oppie move up almost to Unicron's mouth)  
  
Meggy: That is the signal! Get him Shockwave!  
  
(Shockwave rams into Oppie, knocking the Matrix from his hands. Meggy runs over and grabs it from the ground)  
  
Ultra Maggy: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!  
  
(Unicron spits out Screamy and rolls over to Oppie, ready to suck him down, but Ultra Maggy grabs Oppie by the arm and drags him away. Unicron rolls around the nursery chasing Ultra Maggy dragging Oppie. Meanwhile, Meggy is fumbling with the Matrix, trying to see what's inside of it)  
  
Screamy: THAT WAS SO GROSS! I'M NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN MEGGY! (he gets up and wipes off the goo)  
  
Meggy: (looking up and seeing Unicron roll after Ultra Maggy) GET THEM UNICRON! GET THEM GOOD!  
  
Hot Roddy: Hey! You're trying to hurt my friends! (Roddy transforms and hits Meggy, who falls over and drops the Matrix. Roddy transforms back to robot mode and picks up the Matrix. Roddy then begins to grow in size and the voice of Peter Cullen is heard booming over the nursery, saying "Arise Training Pants Prime.")  
  
(Everybody in the nursery stops what they are doing and looks around for the mysterious voice)  
  
Meggy: Who in the hell keeps doing that! (all the babies looks at each other and shrug)  
  
(Training Pants Prime looks like the size of a toddler now and wears a pair of golden Huggies Pull Up Training Pants).  
  
Meggy: Give me that Matrix! (They start tug of warring over the Matrix., meanwhile, Unicron resumes rolling around after Ultra Maggy)  
  
(Shockwave runs over and helps Meggy grab the Matrix. Training Pants Prime pulls as hard as he can, but both of them pull harder and he losses the war, turning back into Hot Roddy. Kup and Jazz run over to help Hot Roddy, who fell down.)  
  
(Meanwhile, Ultra Maggy pushes Oppie into the toy chest and jumps for cover, but Unicron gets him and slurps him down. He then turns and starts to grab the toy chest with his pinchers)  
  
Meggy runs over and says to Unicron with glee, "I have the Matrix! Now what do you want me to do?"  
  
Unicron: Destroy it for me!  
  
Meggy: Huh? Destroy it? You never said anything about me having to DESTROY IT! How in world am I going to do something like that?  
  
Unicron: JUST GET RID OF IT FOR ME!  
  
Meggy: Okay, here! (hands it to Screamy) Go and do something with this!  
  
Screamy: What! (he holds it like it has the cooties) What am I going to do with it?  
  
Meggy: Oh, I don't know moron! Think of something!  
  
Screamy: Ewwwww! I don't know!  
  
Meggy: Wait, I have an idea! (he transforms to gun mode and lands in Screamy's hand) Load it inside of me!  
  
Screamy: Good idea! (He loads the Matrix into Meggy)  
  
Kup: No you don't Meggy! (He jumps over and slaps Meggy out of Screamy's hand. The Matrix falls out of Meggy's barrel and spins on the ground. Hot Roddy, Kup, Jazz, Screamy, Meggy and Shockwave all dog pile on top of each other trying to get it.)  
  
(Unicron has taken a huge bite out of toy chest trying to devour Oppie)  
  
Oppie: AAAAAHHHHHHH!  
  
Nanny: Hi kids, what are you. . . .UH, OH MY GOODNESS! UNICRON! (Unicron is seen eating half of toy chest, while Oppie is standing on the other side looking terrified)  
  
Oppie: NAAAAAAAANNNNY!  
  
(Nanny runs over and grabs Oppie out of toy chest just as Unicron eats it)  
  
(The babies in the dog pile are thrown off as a bright light emits from underneath them. Hot Roddy bursts up in a standing position as he holds the Matrix in his hand)  
  
Hot Roddy: I'VE GOT IT! (he grows in size back to Training Pants Prime and the voice of Peter Cullen booms through the nursery saying, "Arise AGAIN Training Pants Prime!")  
  
Meggy: Whoever you are, SHUT UP!  
  
Peter Cullen: You shut up, Meggy! Just wait 'till you get older!  
  
(Meggy looks terrified and hides in the Fisher Price plastic fort)  
  
(Nanny looks at Oppie with surprise. Oppie shrugs at Nanny like, "I didn't say it!")  
  
Nanny: That's enough everybody! Stop this fighting immediately. (The babies get up and dust themselves off, looking ashamed they upset Nanny)  
  
Nanny: Hot Roddy, give me that toy! (Training Pants Prime walks over and hands it to Nanny, turning back into Hot Roddy)  
  
Nanny: All this fighting over a silly toy! I'm surprised at you, I know I raised better bot tots than this!  
  
Kup: Unicron has Ultra Maggy in his tummy again, Nanny!  
  
Nanny: Unicron! You promised you weren't going to do that anymore, spit him out right now!  
  
(Unicron snivels at the hard tone of Nanny's voice, then spits out Ultra Maggy and starts crying)  
  
Ultra Maggy: OH YUCK! THAT'S FOUR TIMES NOW! (he wipes off the goo) Just wait until I get my hands on that Meggy-tron!  
  
Nanny: Meggy was behind this? Meggy, come out of that fort this minute! (Meggy slowly walks out of the fort looking scared)  
  
Nanny: You are going to do everybody's chores for a whole week for telling Unicron to eat Ultra Maggy!  
  
Meggy: BUT. . . .BUT, I DIDN'T TELL UNIC. . . . . . .  
  
Nanny: No more out of you Meggy! Now, Unicron, you are going to stay in the kitchen with me and I'll feed you right away! (Unicron stops crying and happily rolls into the kitchen)  
  
Nanny: Now, who does this toy belong too?  
  
Ultra Maggy: It belongs to Oppie, Nanny.  
  
Nanny: Here, I'm very sorry your toy was taken away from you. (she hands him his "toy" and he happily hugs it)  
  
Nanny: And as for the rest of you, you need to behave for the rest of the day or you will all go to bed a half hour early! (all the babies look horrified. She then walks away into the kitchen to feed Unicron)  
  
Meggy: Well that just sucks! (he crosses his arms)  
  
Ultra Maggy: Good! I hope you have fun cleaning up the whole house for the next week you mean bully!  
  
Meggy: SHUT UP!  
  
"I'll help you Meggy!"  
  
(Meggy turns around and finds Soundwave.)  
  
Meggy: You'll. . . . . .you'll do that for me, Soundwave?  
  
Soundwave: Sure! Only if that means that we can be friends again.  
  
Meggy: Okay! (Meggy is secretly extremely happy to have Soundwave back as his friend)  
  
Soundwave: Do I still get to play Dodge Ball? I'm the league president.  
  
Meggy: Yes, I guess you can play, Soundwave. Only when I decide to play, you had better let me win!  
  
Soundwave: Agreed, Mighty Meggy!  
  
Shockwave: Uh, who is this?  
  
Meggy: This is my friend, Soundwave. Soundwave, this is Shockwave!  
  
Shockwave: Did Unicron ever give you permission to have any other friends other than me?  
  
Meggy: NO! AND I DON'T CARE WHAT HE SAYS! I GOT PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING HE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR!  
  
Shockwave: Forgive me, Meggy-tron, I just thought that I would be your only friend.  
  
Meggy: I can't believe he made you think that. Now tell me, Shockwave. What is my probability of getting out of having to clean the whole house?  
  
Shockwave: My best estimate is 0%  
  
Meggy: Damn. You're worthless you know that? Why don't you just TRY and give me a number to please me?  
  
Shockwave: You mean use deception?  
  
Meggy: YES!  
  
Shockwave: Alright, I predict a . . . . . uh. . . .a 87.4% probability that you will succeed in not having to clean the whole house.  
  
Meggy: Hey! I like those odds! C'mon guys, lets go find Screamy and make him an offer he can't refuse.  
  
The End - well, until next time that is ;)  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Alright! Here is another silly chapter of TF Babies. Hope you enjoyed another chapter of complete craziness and all out nonsense. Before you leave, drop a review and let me know what you thought. C-YA later gang! Crazomatic 


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